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Tempted by Life part 1 edited

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Many of you started following my blog when I first started writing Tempted. Since then my life has been very full and I have had much less time to write. I am now half way through my third year at university and my work load has tripled. Although writing is my main ambition, I enjoy learning and university has been an incredible experience. I spend a lot of time with my partner Helen who was diagnosed with NMO this year (look it up), its quite rare and causes a host of problems, so we have has to re-adjust our life and concentrate our efforts on us. In addition to studying, I work for the Red Cross, its a good little job that supports a great cause.  So life (for us) is full. I haven’t really written anything apart from essays in such a long time. Spent a few months promoting ‘Loved Settled and Understood’ which sold over 300 copies in the first eight weeks. I hope to keep any royalties aside so we might get married in the next couple of years. Anyhow, I’m rambling.  I decided I would put some of my education to the test and re write Tempted (or Tempted by Life) as I have re named it, to demonstrate some of the ways that my degree has helped me with structure and words. I hope you enjoy it. I can not guarantee I will write every day because sometimes life gets in the way, but I will try to write as often as I can. Please feel free to comment or just say hello.

Tempted by Life part 1

My name is Shai, pronounced shy for those of you who are unfamiliar with the name. Ironically I have never been shy in my life. Something strange is happening to me. I am normally an extrovert, loud, funny and a bit naughty, yet lately I have become such a loner. I find unexpected pleasure in crawling inside my own brain and indulging in my thoughts. This all began last month when a new computer engineer visited my workplace. Instead of the ignorant little man in his brown overall who usually looks down his nose at us, we got Tanya. She breezed into the office full of confidence, intelligence and an abundance of good humour. I was mesmerized by this girl. At the time I could not quite pin point the reason why my eyes followed her around the room. Perhaps I was struck by the confidence that she delivered in her stride or her self-assured posture that became an exhibition when she stopped in the center of the room. I could not put my finger on it, yet I was aware of the smile that was lurking just far enough below the surface of her exquisite face as not to look suspicious. She caught me looking. Alarmed as I may have been, I stared at her mouth which unchained her hidden smile and it beamed into every corner of the room. Our eyes locked  and my mouth gaped open. I must have looked a sight. My heart pounded in my chest and my mouth dried up and it was only the feeling of  cold coffee dripping onto my lap that aroused me from the trance I had fallen in to. I swung my chair around and frantically rubbed my leg with a used tissue. My face burned. Then just as I was picking loose pieces of curled up brown tissue from my skirt,  she leaned over the back of my chair to adjust my computer screen. I froze and I struggled to breath. I dropped the remaining tissue on the floor and adjusted my skirt and swear I heard her chuckle. I stared at my screen but I could see her reflection and her eyes were following mine. Diverting my attention, I found myself caressing the rim of my brown and orange retro mug. When that became unbearable, I tidied my desk using the small perimeter of space available to me where I could freely move without touching or looking at her.  Yet I was consumed. Her presence surrounded me. From the fragment of her hair that brushed over my left arm, to the feel of her breath on my neck, she had me. Her smell was intoxicating, it was hot and sweet and fruity and it swirled around my head like a daydream before whipping my heart into a frenzy. I felt dazed and weak so I excused myself in order to go the water fountain. I avoided her eyes by looking intently at the navy and white speckled carpet and the cream and white walls that suddenly seemed wider and further than I had ever noticed. I felt exposed and awkward as I staggered across the room and stepped out into the hallway. I took a long slow drink which gave me a chance to calm down, cool down and look at this woman from a distance. She was taller than me but only by inches. Her dark hair fell over her soft oval face in which her deep blue eyes were set. They sparkled and danced when the light caught them. She was thin and slender yet curved and sensual, and from every angle she looked sublime. She caught me looking at her and a cheeky grin tugged at the corner of her lip and curled it upward. I looked away from her as a lightening bolt shot through my body and my insides trembled sending an unfamiliar rush of adrenalin from my toes to the tips of my hair.  I drank some more water then walked slowly back to my desk. She had moved on to another computer  but I could see her looking back. I kept my head down and tried to concentrate on my work. I flicked through my diary, closed it, picked up the phone, put it down but I could not function because my heart was pounding so hard. I could still smell her all around my desk and I tried to devour it yet I could hardly breathe. I became light-headed and disoriented so I asked if I could take my lunch break. I almost ran to the staff room were I splashed cold water on my face. What was it about this girl who unsettled me so much? I sat on the sofa with my face in my hands and closed my eyes. There she was, imprinted in my eyelids with that warm toothy grin, and deep sparkling eyes. I went back to the sink for more cold water when she entered the staff room. I heard the door open and I turned around. She walked toward me and I stood with my back pressed hard against the work top. Her eyes never left mine as she advanced toward me. My heart pounded through my blouse as her body almost touched mine. I could feel the heat from her skin and the coolness of her breath and I melted into her eyes. My lips fell apart as I caught the tip of her tongue brush her bottom lip. I stopped breathing as her hand reached out…………………….

To be continued

If you like my writing, you may like my first novel ‘Loved Settled and Understood,’ available on Kindle and paperback from Amazon and paperback from Lulu.com.

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Living With Fibromyalgia

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kirstywirsty:

This has always been a popular blog of mine and i thought I would share it again. I would like to add however, since writing this my partner became paralyzed and diagnosed with NMO, she learned to walk again

Originally posted on Kirsty Grant:

This is not your usual post about fibromyalgia for the simple reason, I don’t have it but that doesn’t mean I’m not aware of it or that I don’t care about it, I do. The reason for this post is that my partner suffers from fibromyalgia and I would like to give you a medical definition of this illness but if truth be told I don’t have one. Yes I’ve read about it on various web sites and i’ve saw the list of symptoms but I want to tell you what I know about the illness because I see it every day.

Fibromyalgia is painful, it causes unexplained muscle, joint and sometimes nerve pain that can be various levels of sore and is not specific to any part of the body. The pain areas are random and often change. Fibro cause fatigue and chronic fatigue, forgetfulness, sometimes anxiety and depression…

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Lecture

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Originally posted on Kirsty Grant:

I enter cautiously, silently and hold my breath.
The noise which echoes through this theatre is a buzz and the cloak
I wear for my invisible arrival. I slink slowly into
the back row, into the furthest chair to the right.
The view from here is acceptable, the sound adequate
but the solitude is exhilarating.
I remove all fragments of restrictive outdoor attire
and rest my feet or the chair in front,
It doesn’t squeak, I tested it last week.
A moments preparation from the front
and we are deep within the realms of Shakespeare
or Pope, or Milton, I don’t remember,
it’s not important, I wrote it down.
Yet I do know that when you demanded my attention,
I became a part of a fragment in time.
In a room filled with people, I sat there alone,
well that is alone except you.
Your voice commanded my ears, you…

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Lecture

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Lecture.

Tempted by Life part 1 edited

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Originally posted on Kirsty Grant:

Many of you started following my blog when I first started writing Tempted. Since then my life has been very full and I have had much less time to write. I am now half way through my third year at university and my work load has tripled. Although writing is my main ambition, I enjoy learning and university has been an incredible experience. I spend a lot of time with my partner Helen who was diagnosed with NMO this year (look it up), its quite rare and causes a host of problems, so we have has to re-adjust our life and concentrate our efforts on us. In addition to studying, I work for the Red Cross, its a good little job that supports a great cause.  So life (for us) is full. I haven’t really written anything apart from essays in such a long time. Spent a few months promoting…

View original 1,084 more words

Autumn

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Cold rain falls from the nights abyss,

airborne tear shapes drawn to my skin.

My cheeks burn raw from their saturating bite

then my teeth clatter, like a spoon on a china plate

or supermarket baskets.

Cold wind whips up a carpet of orange

and green and brown speckled leaves and

throws them into a frantic frenzy. They land

on my coat, pointy and veins and arms and death.

Then become my crispy crunchy carpet.

Cold night, no stars or moon to light the park,

just street lamps.

Listen………

And the Winner is…

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The winner of the ‘Interview the Author’ competition is Miriam Bee. Well done Miriam and I hope you enjoy ‘Loved settled and Understood’. Below I’ve answered the questions she asked (great questions by the way!):

Question 1. What are you best at?
This is a difficult question to answer without sounding big headed or on the other hand undervaluing myself. I’m good at motivating myself to study, to learn and to encourage other people to learn. I’m good at motivating people at work, I work with unpaid volunteers and I think it is important to make them feel valued as they do such a fantastic job. So I guess the answer to this question is motivation. 
 
2. What are you scared of?
Sink holes, without a doubt. You could be standing outside having a chat to your neighbour and suddenly be falling into a massive sink hole. The idea of a sink hole is terrifying. I also hate clip shears (earwigs) because I was once in registration at secondary school and I felt something crawling on my leg and when I stamped my foot a hamster-sized clip shear fell out. I have roses, clip shears love roses, its a problem. 
 
3. What makes your heart sing?
My Fiancee Helen, she is an amazingly brilliant, intelligent, funny and brave person and I love her to bits, she is also my best friend.
 
4. Describe how you picture your life in 10 years time.
Living on a farm (our own farm), in Scotland. Helen and I will be married and we will have goats and highland cows and pigs and hens and we will grow and eat our own veg. We will have out-buildings where friends and family can move in and we can all live off the land and avoid as much of the capitalist bullshit (that we are socialised into believing is normal) as possible. Oh and I will be writing bigger and better novels and Helen will be fit and well and I will have a degree. 
 
5. If I could grant you one wish, what would it be? 
Find a cure for NMO (Neuromyelitis Optica). It is a rare neurological condition that my girlfriend suffers from and recently caused paralysis from the chest down. She was in hospital for two months learning to walk again. 
 
6. If you could go back to one moment in your history and give yourself some advice, what would it be and when?
Spend more time with your mum and look after her because you never know when it’s her time to go. 
 
7. Top 5 words to describe your personality.
Creative, thoughtful, loving, funny, giving.
 
8. What aspect of your personality would you like to change?
None, if you were to ask me this question ten years ago I could have given you a much better and longer answer but the truth is, losing my mum gave me a mighty kick up the bum and the events that followed allowed me to change, mature and look at life differently. I returned to education and moved from my home town. I feel more ‘me’ than I ever have.
 
9. Which 3 people (alive or dead) would you like to invite over for dinner, and why?
I would love to invite Karl Marx because I think his views on society and capitalism were on the button, plus he had an incredible beard. I would invite my mum to dinner so that she could meet Helen because I think they would have got on like a house on fire. And finally Enid Blyton. Enid filled my childhood head with mystery, excitement and fantasy which made my growing up magical.  
 
10. What’s your favourite memory?
Lying on the sofa at my mum and step-dad’s house on Christmas day. Me and mum had drank two bottles of Sherry and were in no fit state to even make dinner. I cuddled up to her while she scratched my head and we both fell asleep. I miss those moments dearly. I have so many answers to this question though, this particular answer is good for today.
 
Thank you to everyone else that entered, you all posed some great questions. Loved Settled and Understood is available at Amazon UKAmazon USA, Amazon AU (available from Amazon all over the world) LULU.Com, Melange books.com
 
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